Control

Your weapon of choice, a piercing harsh tongue.
the most hurtful shots, fly straight through her lungs.
Leaving her breathless, shaken to her core,
dismiss all emotions, by slamming their doors.

Your ego is so strong, it eats at her soul,
she tries to hold on, but gives up control.
Her mind is all bruised, along with her heart,
too strong to let go, too weak to depart.

Alone in the cold, no where else to be,
no money for food, afraid of the streets.
Fearful to go home, she already left,
slowly walking back, with stones in her chest.

She looks for an option, searching hard for strength,
finds answers inside, while holding her breath,
the slowest exhale, releases her pain,
you may hold her body, but never her brain.

Embracing the moment, the time is right now,
she knows she will make it, but does not know how.
Decides not to enter, instead turns around,
will start from the bottom, pull up from the ground.

The sun shines so bright, glistens on her face,
she may be unstable, but will find her place.
Good riddance to you, she has no regrets,
knowing she is ready to pass any test.

– Grace Y. Estevez – Reddy

Originally Published January 15, 2021

Bridal Tears

A shining halo on her head
guides every single step she dreads,
she wishes she could run instead,
all of her crumbled hopes are dead.

A future flashing in her mind,
an older groom, mostly unkind.
Both hands scrubbed raw from chores assigned,
no more tears left, silently cried.

Her dad is there, her mother too,
dismissing all her obvious blues.
So nonchalant with how she grew,
ignore her thoughts, forcing their views.

Slowly exhales, welcoming death,
suddenly wakes, still out of breath,
she sobs for those that go the length,
while praying she can gather strength.

Maybe someday forced love can end,
so no heart needs to play pretend.
Some are too young to comprehend,
how one wrong step quickly descends.

The warm sunlight, brightens her face,
clears up her mind, she finds her place,
an advocate for those displaced,
providing pure love filled with grace.

– Grace Y. Estevez- Reddy

Forgiveness

A spec of dirt is all you see,
while staring blankly back at me.
Your hands carry all of my keys,
my inner strength sets my mind free.

My self-esteem crawled through pure hell,
no one heard my screams, cries, or yells.
I stood back up and said farewell,
learning to fight hard for myself.

Now my presence carries strong rain,
while haunting guilts torments your brain.
My loss was never for your gain,
it only served to provide pain.

I have erased my former mold,
I regained all my self-control,
I truly hope you clear your soul,
I do not want you to feel cold.

One sunny day you may feel ease,
absolving guilt, while on your knees.
Closing both eyes, finding great peace
so your past trauma can release.

Forgiving you makes me feel right,
and helps me sleep soundly at night.
Tough lessons fly, turn dark skies light
touching the stars then twinkling bright.

– Grace Y. Estevez- Reddy

Malice

Surrounded by a darkened hue,
talk without reason or a clue,
your uttered words are hardly true,
raw chaos feels at home with you
.

Erratic tones possess your voice,
portray a victim without choice,
killing the peace with your loud noise,
envying those with natural poise.

Wishing me bad, I wished you good,
you never knew I understood,
I tried to help, did what I could,
your mind was a block of dense wood.

So sad to see what you became,
a grown-up with no ounce of shame,
no one is left to play your games,
now only mirrors can be blamed.

I truly wish you change your ways,
sincerely hope you are okay,
so hurt inside, for you I pray,
that the sun melts despair away.

This life you live is what you choose,
the future may bring better shoes,
but if you choose to cause abuse,
you will soon find, that you will lose
.


– Grace Y. Estevez-Reddy

Contrary

The one meant to love me,
had hate for me too.
Swaying what I see,

controlling my views.

Have you ever heard words,
that felt like a punch?


The energy sprayed,
all covered with blades,

cutting through my heart,
splitting me apart,
shooting like a gun,
leaves me feeling stunned.


Bruise into my mind,

biting deep inside,
chewing at my pride
,
actions undefined,
a fingerless touch
,
delivers the punch.

Then hold me so sweet,
offer many treats,
sweep me off my feet,
I flow like the breeze
.

Have you ever heard words
meant to feel like love?


The words I now hear,
erase all my fears.

all sent from above,
fly in like a dove,
they flutter inside,
bring in butterflies.


They give me a hug,
that fits like a glove,
then sing in my ears,
my eyes fill with tears,
my hopes start to fly,
reaching past the sky.

I land on both feet,
words fall on their knees,
seeking no amends,
knowing this now ends
.

The knots all untie,
I say my good byes
.

– Grace Y. Estevez-Reddy





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