Distress

Strong magnetic words
attached to my mind,
attracting lost tears,
no longer confined.

I turn them around
but they just repel,
they fall back on me
disarming my shell.

Magnetic energy
with intentions said,
unbalance my senses
then bounce in my head.

Replaying each letter
that form every word,
unstabling spirit,
harsh ego transferred.

Magnetic forces
all come to a halt,
clearing my scarred wounds,
removing the salt.

Enclosing a shield
around my own soul,
sharpening visions,
regaining control.

– Grace Y. Estevez-Reddy

March 3, 2021 5

Game over

I do not wish to play your game,
the twisted webs drive me insane.
Must hear your thoughts before expressed,
all interactions turn to dread.

I do not want to play your game,
no room for change, always the same.
Riddles and clues shoved in my head,
clear expectations, mixed instead.

I do not need to play your game,
never believed in placing blame.
If something cracks, I look inside,
no need to point or try to hide.

I do not know rules for your game,
laws often change without an aim.
People are pawns, your words cruel darts,
all set to play misguided parts.

I will no longer play your game,
intentions pure, no need for shame.
No more pretense or need for lies
to self preserve, I say goodbye.

– Grace Y. Estevez-Reddy

February 7, 2021 7

Dissolve

I had to cut off family,
simply to keep my sanity.
They judge me hard, but that’s okay,
they could not understand my ways.

I tried my best to just fit in,
but felt that I could never win.
When I belonged, they made it wrong,
and felt these actions made them strong.

I had to cut off family,
to spare myself from agony.
I used to think we were complete,
until their hearts turned to concrete.

They came to visit once or twice,
I thought reunions were quite nice.
Soon came to see, it was intrigue,
that brought them here carrying deceit.

I had to cut off family,
to make my life skip happily.
Forming my own, building a home,
real love that is not made of foam.

They taught me to decipher clues,
so I could teach mine to be true.
Show them to try, no hidden lies,
and how to love from deep inside.

I had to cut off fantasy
to make room for reality.
A peaceful life, a new design
with a full love that feels divine.

– Grace Y. Estevez-Reddy

February 3, 2021 0

Contrary

The one meant to love me,
had hate for me too.
Swaying what I see,
controlling my views.

Have you ever heard words,
that felt like a punch?

The energy sprayed,
all covered with blades,
cutting through my heart,
splitting me apart,
shooting like a gun,
leaves me feeling stunned.

Bruise into my mind,
biting deep inside,
chewing at my pride,
actions undefined,
a fingerless touch,
delivers the punch.

Then hold me so sweet,
offer many treats,
sweep me off my feet,
I flow like the breeze.

Have you ever heard words
meant to feel like love?

The words I now hear,
erase all my fears.
all sent from above,
fly in like a dove,
they flutter inside,
bring in butterflies.

They give me a hug,
that fits like a glove,
then sing in my ears,
my eyes fill with tears,
my hopes start to fly,
reaching past the sky.

I land on both feet,
words fall on their knees,
seeking no amends,
knowing this now ends.

The knots all untie,
I say my good byes.

– Grace Y. Estevez-Reddy

January 22, 2021 3