Useless

What can I do to show that I care?
What can I do with hands that are bare?
Witness your hidden struggles each day.
Awaken guilt since I am okay.

What can I do to provide a gain?
What can I do to alleviate strain?
Assist with your load, help lug the weight.
Embrace your burdens, forcing a sway.

What can I do to fix your puzzles?
What can I do to relieve troubles?
Devour the peel then feed you the fruit.
Give you sweet juice, while mine I dilute.

What can I do to numb you of pain?
What can I do so blessings can rain?
Comfort you softly with soothing words.
Recite wise tales from lessons learned.

What can I do to dress our table?
What can I do to make us stable?
Patiently hope and do all I can.
Hold your fine hand, together we stand.

– Grace Y. Estevez

Concealed

Swallowing the knots,
so they stay inside.
Do not show a fear,
sorrows seem to hide
.

Masking with fake smiles,
as time passes by.
Share a laugh or two,
enjoying blind eyes
.

All of life is great,
feelings are blurry.
Protecting others,
from unseen worries
.

Posture always straight
head up and chin high.
Cheerful demeanor
with a silent sigh
.

No space for complaint
this life is a gift.
We should be grateful
so sadness can lift
.

So easy to know
the right way to feel,
yet taxing to do,
when despair is real
.

Daydreaming of hope
to light this abyss.
One step at a time,
while finding true bliss
.


– Grace Y. Estevez

Tip Toe

Music box in my mind,
dreamy thoughts form a dance,
twirling to the rhythm,
of imagined romance
.

Pretty melodies help,
numb my tense scattered mind,
transcend through dark spaces,
flow through blank hollow times.

Memories quickly tap,
crisp natural tunes,
evaporating tales,
that smell of old perfume.

Hear uneven thunder,
stagnant tears fall like rain.
Lightning crashes my mind,
reigniting aged pain.

Basking in sunny rain,
as I sway with the breeze,
I forget who I am,
as the storms seems to freeze.

Spin to the melodies,
playing songs in my head.
The raindrops choose to stop,
as I lay on my bed.

– Grace Y. Estevez



Caretaker

How can I measure your blank stare?
How can I know you are still there?
I will visit with your soul.
You can still maintain control.

How can I make you more aware?
How can I show how much I care?
Hold your hands try to connect.
Hope to comfort your unrest.

How can I prevent all despair?
How can this life be so unfair?
Cradle you and all your fears.
Seek to catch all fallen tears.

How can I make you want to share?
How can I make you try to dare?
Teach by sharing with you too.
Dare to hope wishes come true.

How can I remain so prepared?
How can I clear up the thick air?
Care for you every day.
Tend to myself the same way
.

– Grace Y. Estevez

Phases

Memories began, when she was five,
with not much care, feeling just fine.
Spending her days, unknotting binds,
most pleasant child, kept within lines.

Her brilliant mind, was masked for thrills,
her deepest thoughts, went unfulfilled.
Naughty but in the purest ways,
angry that fun, could never stay.


As sweet sixteen soon came to be,
unmasking lies, for all to see,
her darkest fears and solemn tales,
picked herself up, when all hands failed.

Adulthood swiftly came to play,
removing bows and pretty lace.
Moving away, to a new place,
with no old ties, a new escape.


She met new dolls, gave them fun names,
so paper cut, they looked the same.
They grew up fast, sharing some bonds,
of her strange ways, they were quite fond.

An angel came, swept her right up,
soaking her tears, filling her cup.
He washed his hands, when he was done,
leaving her torn, making her run.


Soon ran into his opposite,
numbing herself, if for a bit,
but realized he was not fit.
He screamed too loud, the walls were hit.

She thought of ways to go off grid,
too late some how, they now had kids,
did not work out, support all hid
.
She found the strength to close the lid.

Sun had emerged, behind the clouds,
love came in fast, it sang so loud.
Enough for two, three was a crowd,
shinning with grace, she took a bow.

It claimed her heart, also her mind,
the love was true, one of a kind.
One small pebble, stuck in the way,
it got kicked fast, it could not stay.


Soon she was healed, remorse had fled,
her love was real, not in her head.
Followed the paths, to where they led,
so she could sleep, on her own bed.
Her fairytale was not an act,
but memories, to reenact.

Echoes are gone, that is a fact
the best is now, what she attracts.


– Grace Y. Estevez


Balanced

A hallow storm angry and scared,
cried out enraged but no one cared.
Created pains left to repair,
erasing times no longer there.

Passive sun rays appeared to see,
the storm was hurt and felt lonely.
Shining on it, no guarantee,
as an attempt to stop the spree.

No words were said, offered a hug,
In hopes the storm would feel a tug.
Sun showed it cared by giving love,
calming storm down with warmer snugs.

Storm was surprised to see sun near,
a silent cheer dried up her tears.
Sun held her close removing fears,
emitting light so storm could clear.

Storm was happy to find a friend,
opened her heart so they could blend.
Knowing full well sorrows can mend,
infinite bonds will never end.

– Grace Y. Estevez




Episode

It begins with a lump,
that I find hard to swallow.
Mimicked by the night sky,
the moon is looking hollow.
In search for a kind hand,
or a star I could follow.
Emerging from the past,
without a need to wallow.

The ground sinks like quick sand,
with each heavy step I take.
Nervous attempt to smile,
but come off awkward and fake.
Outside the ground is frozen,
inside my spirit bakes.
A wish covered in silence,
with no glass wounds to break.

My palms become the ocean,
my mouth dry desert land.
Quickest trembling rhythm,
possessing disarmed hands.
Anxiety soon arises,

choosing a firmer stand.
Confusing every thought,
obstructing any plan.

My eyes soon find a star,
I watch her as she twinkles.
I open my scared heart,
then ask her for a sprinkle.
A tidbit of bright light,
will iron out the wrinkles.
Conquering one more time,
this one was a mere tickle
.

– Grace Y. Estevez.








Breathe

Take a breath
is what they said,
every time
I felt distress.
But what for?
I ask myself,
to let go?
gain some control?
Only air
nothing quite there,
treatment for
all my despair?
Inhaling
is all I need,
Exhaling,
my deepest grief.
Remedy,
a perfect cure
comforting,
when not too sure.
Stop and breathe
is what they say
Hope is just
a breath away.

– Grace Y. Estevez

Alone

It feels better to have no love
live life alone
kissed from above

It feels good to not have any true friends
no lies left to hear
or views to defend

It feels great to have no lingered blood ties
a family bond
or entitled lie
s

It feels quite nice to be unknown
others take a stroll
eye smiles always shown

It feels wonderful to play games of pretend
all is okay
until it all ends

It feels fine to befriend my very own soul
heart on my sleeve
while gaining control

– Grace Y. Estevez

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